Integrating your breakthroughs

The following is an excerpt from our “Tougher Together: Breakthrough” Podcast with Rebeccah Silence.

One of the unchanging constants in life is change itself. Change is happening all around you, all the time, to every single one of us. If you’re feeling stuck or unhappy with your life, read on!

We are talking about the “how-to’s” of breakthrough, and why “integration” should be your roadmap for life. Trying to avoid or resist change only make things tougher and brings suffering. Let’s get out of survival mode and start living in harmony with change.

Nobody’s life changed because they read a personal growth book, or a blog. I’m sorry, but it’s just not true. No one changed their life simply because they learned something new. Without breakthrough and integration all the knowing and understanding in the world won’t help you change. Change happens when you integrate your breakthroughs into your daily life.

What is integration?

Integration is where the rubber meets the road. This is where you start putting into practice all the things you’ve learned, and you start to embody new ways of being and thinking so that you behave and respond in different ways. It’s when you use that Aha! moment to fuel your actions. The process of integration can physiologically change you, even beyond the neurological rewiring of your brain. It literally gets your whole body, mind and spirit aligned in such a way that you live differently. Making changes where you couldn’t before.

If you’re looking for a 3-step process to change, this isn’t the article. The process of breakthrough and integration is different for each of us and there is no cookie-cutter approach to growth and healing. Your ability to change comes from the power of your own choice. You are your own hero!

I recently spoke to an amazing woman who experienced a life-changing Aha moment. She thought “Oh my goodness, it’s up to me to find and follow my own trail markers.” She’d been waiting her whole life for the world to give her a sign, for the universe to leave her a clue, but now this woman is integrating that breakthrough into her life and seeing transformation in her career, her marriage, her body—all at the same time!

No one wants to get messy in public.

Finding the courage to face the raw truth inside and allowing yourself to get real about things, can be messy. But that mess is the prerequisite to growth. It’s like when your foot falls asleep, numb, and tingly. But then as you move and the blood starts flowing again the pain begins to disappear. It doesn’t last forever. Breakthrough is that moment when the energy shifts and when the pain starts to go away. Breakthrough is when you see the light at the end of the tunnel and life suddenly doesn’t feel so heavy anymore. The pain is temporary and if you’re willing to breathe through the discomfort, you’ll come out the other side a changed person.

That raw truth you need to face, those things that haunt you and keep you up at night—those are the messy things we’re talking about. The things you know you need to confront and deal with. One step at a time, you can shed the layers of hurt and heaviness that have been following you around. The goal is “no regrets.

The woman I shared about who was waiting for a sign from the universe is now following her own path. She’s looking for the trail markers and taking the risk of following them without really knowing where she’s going. So many of you are following in other people’s footsteps when maybe your destiny is like this woman’s—to blaze a trail that isn’t there yet. You get to create your own life. So, stop living on autopilot. Stop going through the motions and phoning it in. Start small and start living a little bit better or a little bit beyond what you thought you could, every single day.

Evolve beyond your comfort zone.

I don’t know what it is you’re struggling with or where you might be feeling stuck right now. Maybe it’s a bad relationship, financial trouble, or a dead-end career. Maybe it’s physical healing, trouble with your children, heartbreak, or abuse. Maybe you’ve been dealing with a different type of trauma; but I’m telling you there is life beyond whatever ‘it’ is. I’m not suggesting that you can escape pain or misery permanently, but I am telling you that once you let go and step out of your comfort zone, you step into the exciting possibility of change. It might feel like a free-for-all, and you might even be scared you won’t survive, but I promise, you will. We all experience new things when we step outside our comfort zone, it’s supposed to be that way. And if you’re suffering in your current set of circumstances, I encourage you to reevaluate your approach. Try something new! Say yes to something you’ve been putting off, or set some boundaries to protect your time and energy. You will have to evolve beyond the comfort zone that you’ve been living in. You have to grow into your full potential.

Anytime you experience a breakthrough moment and begin to integrate new things into your life, your old self will begin to unravel a little. Your ego might suffer and it might feel uncomfortable. Change requires picking up the new and letting go of the old. People might question your decisions. Friends and family will worry about you. But the more that you keep showing up in the world as someone who is shining their light authentically, bravely and courageously putting one foot in front of the other, blazing a trail that doesn’t exist yet, the more those negative voices will fade away. There is nothing more empowering than living from your true authentic self. Don’t worry about what other people are saying or how they are living their lives. Grab hold of what you know, the things you’ve learned and start doing them.

But what if?

Learning to enjoy the journey of life is a hard lesson because you can’t escape it. People die, people get fired, people get dumped and cheated on, and tragedy and crisis will happen to all of us. But it’s not always your fault. It’s just life. And sometimes, life is hard. Remember if the other shoe is going to drop, it’s going to drop, and you won’t be able to stop it. What you can do is decide how you’re going to live in between those difficult moments. Stop running away, shutting down or numbing your way to happiness.

Give yourself permission to change.

When you live in a constant state of fear and worry, guess what happens to your heart? You heart will become closed off, shielded in armor. That fear and worry will cause you to build up walls around your heart for protection. And those same walls you build to keep yourself safe are the very thing that will keep you from experiencing the love and human connection you crave most.

Give yourself permission to change—permission to embrace new and scary things, knowing that they will lead to more growth and fulfillment. So, step out of your comfort zone and start integrating breakthrough into your daily life experience.

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