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She had “everything.” She was happily married, had a lovely home, beautiful children, successful career… yet she was unfulfilled. She did all the things a person “should” do. But it wasn’t until she learned to appreciate Breakdown and Breakthrough that she could realize her vision. Join us on the Tougher Together Breakthrough podcast as host Rebeccah Silence and her guest, Anne Mank, talk about Anne’s Breakthrough!
Anne couldn’t quite put her finger on the missing piece but knew that she wasn’t happy, despite her success in business and life. A business coach asked her, “What do you really want to do?” She responded, saying she wanted to run a 5k race. She was so wrapped up in doing what other people wanted her to do that she felt the world would fall apart if she took time for herself.
One of the first things she had to do was make her own rules instead of relying on and adhering to rules made by outside sources. Once she started making leaps towards her own happiness, she found it easier and even more meaningful with each successive change.
She compares her transformation from CPA/Rule Follower to Wealth Advisor/Disruptor as nothing less than caterpillar to butterfly. During the podcast interview with Rebeccah, Anne shares her three-step formula to making real change and moving towards your joy. She’s passionate about disrupting the money conversation for women, so we can talk about money and investing instead of shying away from financial topics.
This behavior and these decisions did not come naturally and actually involved quite a bit of fear, resistance, and hesitation. Learn how she overcame these roadblocks to happiness and built the life she wanted. Beyond vision, you have to put in the work to make the changes for yourself.
If you would like to learn more about Anne Mank, go to her website. We’re always Tougher Together! Please tune in to other episodes of our Breakthrough podcast and explore the human connection between us.
Rebeccah Silence, is a speaker, coach and international media personality, who survived cancer while pregnant and has impacted hundreds of thousands of listeners through her radio programs and appearances. She is the Creator of the HEALING IS POSSIBLE movement and courses and is committed to helping others heal their traumas. As a certified world-class Emotional Healing Coach, Rebeccah is uniquely qualified to facilitate breakthroughs to wellness and transformation while she inspires hope and possibility in even the most challenging times. She is best known for healing heartbreak, and her clients frequently tell her that she brought them “back to life”!
Rebeccah [00:00:00] Have you ever felt unfulfilled, even though you were experiencing yourself as successful? Today we are talking to a financial expert and powerful woman leader.
Intro [00:00:16] We’d like to thank our generous sponsors, Mint Home Loans, and The W Home Group of Next Step Realty for making this show possible. So, what is a breakthrough? It’s finding your way out of suffering and stuck. It’s that feeling of new energy, renewed life and excitement. When I was seven months pregnant with my second baby, I received a life changing diagnosis. I had cancer. When I told my older daughter, she said “So, you’re going to die?” And the only thing that saved my life during that time was knowing how to emotionally break through. Welcome to the Tougher Together, Breakthrough podcast. I’m your host, Rebeccah Silence. I’m a speaker, coach and the creator of Healing is Possible. In each episode I prepare you for life no matter what challenges you’re facing. I’m going to invite you into the stories of real people who are living life in breakthrough and making the world a better place. If they can do it so can you. Breakthrough is your right. Get ready to break through. Get ready for the rest of your life.
Rebeccah [00:01:27] So, Anne Mank, welcome to the Tougher Together, Breakthrough podcast with me, Rebeccah Silence. It is such an honor to have you today.
Anne [00:01:37] Thank you for having me, Rebeccah. This should be fun.
Rebeccah [00:01:40] Yeah. So just dive in. I mean, tell me about life before versus life now.
Anne [00:01:49] Yeah. And even if I go a little bit further back when we initially first met, but I was doing all the typical things you should be doing. Like, I graduated college, I had a good job, I was climbing the corporate ladder, I had the house, the kids, the husband… You know, making a good wage, so we didn’t have to live paycheck to paycheck. But I was sitting there just absolutely unfulfilled, not in alignment. I was frustrated. I was angry. I was like just nothing was going right. It’s just kind of like, you know, you just you’re not in the flow. Like, I have all this stuff. Shouldn’t I be happy? Like, isn’t this what everybody tells me happiness is all about? And then when you get there, you just realize that that wasn’t the case. And so that really started me on this journey of finding out what my alignment is, finding out what my purpose is, finding out what really makes me feel fulfilled. And so it’s been quite, quite the journey and you’ve definitely been a part of that, that’s for sure.
Rebeccah [00:02:59] Oh, Anne, it’s been such an honor to be a part of your journey. But tell us more. You know what? Paint the picture of the path.
Anne [00:03:09] Yeah. So, I’m sitting there just absolutely burnt out. I had my… I had three kids and the youngest one by then was maybe about six months. And there’s this picture of me—and I remember this picture. It’s me in my business outfit, and my little six-month-old is on my lap as I’m working on my computer because I was at home and I’m working after hours. And once, I forgot who took that picture of me, but once I saw that picture, I was like, this is not the life that I want for myself or my family. Like, I don’t want to be working 24/7. I don’t want to be the angry mom. And I was the angry mom; like I had such a short fuze and nothing was making me happy. And so I just did a lot of soul searching at that point, and part of it was just changing my career. I kind of had enough and I said, OK, I did corporate worlds, CPA, you know, kind of going up to VP of finance level. I just need to change. I’m like, money is not worth it for me to destroy my family or destroy the kids because of this. And so, then I made the path over to financial advising. When I was there, I had my first business coach, and that’s really where the breakthrough started, but it was such a small breakthrough. And I remember working with him, and the whole reason I was working with him is because I was starting out and I was like, I need to get motivated; I can’t make the calls; I can’t do what I need to do to have a successful business. And so, I told my story and he literally said like, timeout. There’s nothing I can do to motivate you, but we need to find you again. And it was just the most eye-opening kind of conversation because he had me start thinking back like, who is Anne? What was Anne before the career, before the kids, what kind of personality, what did you do as hobbies? Like those were hard questions for me to answer because my hobby was working. And then when I wasn’t working, I was changing diapers or cleaning the house. There was just… I had no time for a hobby. So, it was just, at that point, an absurd question to ask me, because I was like, who the heck has time for a hobby? And he said, well, what is one thing you’ve had in the back of your mind that, you know, kind of crazy, but you just haven’t done? And I said, well, I have always wanted to run a 5K. I’ve been athletic. I just keep running. And so I said, well, I want to do a 5K. And so then we started going down the road of, well, what if you did that 5K? And, you know, in my head, it was, you know, the house is going to fall apart; the kids are going to run rampant in the streets; you know, the whole world was going to fall if I just took time for myself. And so that was the first time that I started taking baby steps for me. And I could see that the world doesn’t end, that individuals do kind of rise up and help and support you. And that really started the journey then for me, for my personal development.
Rebeccah [00:06:28] I love that story. And then when you and I met, which is actually at a personal development event, you were interested in taking your career to a whole new level. So, tell us about those kind of jumps from the career you didn’t want to more of a career you wanted to. What I believe to be you living into your dream life, purpose, work professionally now.
Anne [00:06:56] So with the leaps. What… So as an account, like, I always want everything planned and I always want the leaps, like, I want to know what’s next. And so, what I really learned was that I have to start following the rules for myself versus really listening to the outside rules. And so, as I made these leaps, each one made the next one easier. And then the next one bigger. And then one of the things that I really enjoyed about our first conversation that we had, first of all, it was a gorgeous place and it was all about personal development. So, it was like just the perfect timing where that’s exactly what we’re looking at and concentrating on is really what’s next. What’s your possibility? But you would ask me questions like, well, what if and why not? And what does that look like and what does that take? And because we had just met, I really didn’t have those barriers that I have with everyone else. Like, I could just really be true and authentic with my answers, because, like, you had no preconceived notion of who I am or what I do. Like, you were just there to listen and to really pull some of that stuff out of me. And, you know, even from that experience, there really got me thinking about what could I do? And so that has really lead me then into what I’m doing now. So, we’ve I’ve gone from just a very typical accountant, a CPA, really following the rules, to now where I’m at a point as a wealth advisor that I’m disrupting the industry. I’m trying to do things that no one else in the industry is doing. And part of that was just from the conversations I’ve had with coaches just like you, that just helped me start thinking about what that might look like and then putting steps in place and then holding me accountable. I think that’s one of the best things that you do for me is if I say I’m going to do it, you’re like, you said it. Let’s go.
Rebeccah [00:09:03] Yeah. Oh, I love that. And you know, what if we could all give ourselves permission to let who we’ve been all away for just a minute and let who we’re becoming start to rise up to the surface? And it gives me goose bumps. I’m thinking about watching you do just that. I remember just the look on your face telling me that you were seeing, oh, life can be different, and to me that is an indication of a breakthrough. I’ve broken through the limited vision I have and I’m seeing more. So, what I’m hearing you say is that breakthrough starts with a vision off where you’re heading?
Anne [00:09:47] Yep. And sometimes that vision is really letting go of the vision that others might have for you, or maybe the vision that you used to have. Like, let’s say my vision was always to live in Milwaukee and so if that was my vision and now my vision is bigger than that, like, I have to be able to let go of that Milwaukee vision so that I can support and nurture this new vision that I have. So it really is… it’s a process of looking forward to the vision, but then really being able to let go of some of that past that sometimes we hold on to those stories. And it’s like, that was great, but I’m going up here. Those stories helped me where I am today, but I need to not necessarily worry so much about what do my parents think, or what do my friends think? It’s really about what’s best for me and the vision I have for myself. Because I think people are drawn to you when you have that vision of yourself. When you know really what’s in alignment… like, we think it will push people away because of that, but it starts attracting people and it starts attracting, like, kind people to yourself. So, I had a lot of fear for a long time. But these breakthroughs have taught me that, you know, I should fear not making the change, because the possibilities that I’ve grown into are so much better than what I left behind.
Rebeccah [00:11:24] Oh, Anne that’s so good. So, what’s a time when breakthrough was really challenging? Because you do have this clarity and you are disrupting the financial world, especially for women. So, I mean, first of all, tell us about that. Like what is it that has you not only in breakthrough, in clear, but helping people break through with money?
Anne [00:11:51] Well, as I’ve been in the wealth adviser role, like it gives me the blessing of being able to just kind of jump into individuals’ lives, and money has so much emotion around it. And so, what I was finding was that, as the advisors, we did a really good job of saying, OK, you need to do X, Y, Z, and you need to invest in here. But it wasn’t landing with individuals, because it wasn’t getting to what they authentically need, or what they really saw for themselves when it comes to money. And so, first, there’s not a lot of education out there, so individuals don’t have that gut when it comes to money and how it works and what they should be doing. And then, two, you have an industry that is just telling people what to do. And so, what I’m really trying to do is disrupt the money conversation for women so that we’re comfortable talking about money; that we develop that gut that says, yes, this is a good decision or no this isn’t; or feel comfortable asking the questions at a table of, you know what? time out, what stock are you talking about and why is it good? Because there’s so many conversations when you’re just… Especially with money. You just don’t want to raise your hand because you don’t want to look stupid in front of the crowds. But more, like just being in those situations, what I find out is that almost everyone there is feeling that same thing. So, they just say something because they think they know this is the right thing to say or it’s cocktail party talk. But at the end of the day, we really haven’t had the education we need to know if that’s even something we should be looking at or what’s right for us. So, I really want to disrupt the conversation and make it more about: What can money do, like, how does it really work? Just, you know, really take it away from big industry and make it very easy for individuals to understand and then give them that sense of confidence to find their own path.
Rebeccah [00:14:01] Yeah, and what would you say the correlation between the work you do with money and just the way life is, is?
Anne [00:14:14] What I do with money and the way life is…
Rebeccah [00:14:17] Because here’s what I just heard. You’re taking money that can be so complicated and you’re making it simple, and so many people are making life so complicated. When we just connect to our truth and just get educated around the possibilities that make sense to us, it can become so simple to go from life the way it was to life the way we want it to be. And then that’s just the beginning. Do you see what I’m saying? Like this work you’re doing with money? How does it apply to life?
Anne [00:14:47] Yeah, and that’s a great point, because a lot of times when I’m working with individuals with money, they start saying, like, yeah, but I need all this over here and I need to do this, and I… And it’s like, well, who told you? And why is that really important? And I think we do a lot of that in life as well. It’s like, yeah, but I need to do this. Well, why? How is that important to you personally, or to your community, or to your family, when it’s something that you just followed in the past? And so, I see that a lot with money in that individuals, because they don’t know how it really should work or what’s best for them, they overcomplicate things. Like, it doesn’t have to be complicated, just like a lot of decisions in life, it doesn’t have to be complicated. Like, we should keep it simple and the simpler we keep it—and that’s why I like your question so much—it’s just really simple questions of: Why? Like, what do you want? Why not do it? Like, they’re just such simple questions and a lot of times we just start talking, you know… Well, why can’t I do it? Well, like, really? Have you thought about that? Like, are those valid reasons why you can’t do something, or are those some things that you’ve put to block yourself so that you really don’t have to answer the question? And so, I think those simple questions that we can answer, whether it’s about money or whether it’s about life choices, keep it simple. I remember, I think it was like back in grade school, one of the… I think it was like my typing teacher, but that was the very first time I heard “Keep it simple.” Like that was her main thing. If you’re going to code, if you’re going to do anything, “keep it simple.” And I’ve just kind of taken that this whole time. I’m just… Yeah, keep it simple. If I can’t explain it in five words or less, or if I can’t explain it on a piece of paper, or if I can’t have somebody understand it without having to use technical terms, then it’s too complicated and we need to narrow it down even more.
Rebeccah [00:16:57] Mm hmm. So, I’m hearing you say breakthrough starts with a vision, then you create the simple steps. And, you know, with you I just remember you being almost like defiant around… Here, OK fine, Rebeccah, I do know what I want. And you were almost like hell bent, adamant that you wouldn’t get it anyway.
Anne [00:17:21] Yes.
Rebeccah [00:17:22] Will you talk about that? And then what happened? I still don’t really know what happened. Cause all of a sudden, everything changed and you just started rocking and rolling and poppin.
Anne [00:17:34] Well, and that was part of the breakthrough of working with you, and then also the training that we were going through for coaching. It was, like, what I would do is, if it wasn’t something that I found value in, or if it’s something that I necessarily had to do it myself? Like, I absolutely revolted. And I remember there was homework that I needed to do, and I just wasn’t doing it because I didn’t find the value, and I kept questioning everything, and I wasn’t trusting the process. And I think that was really me blocking myself, because I didn’t want to answer those questions myself. Like, why didn’t I find value in this or what am I really trying to get? And then as we had more conversations, it really was around like I kept blaming everyone else for not getting what I want. Like, for example, when I was doing that 5K for the first time, I would blame everyone else. Like, I have to take care of this because so-and-so can’t; and even… I mean, that lasted for a very long time and it was the breakthrough of realizing like nobody is going to come rescue me. I’m the one that has to figure it out what’s best for me, and then take the steps necessary to do it. And so that really was the breakthrough. And then we also worked on integrity a lot. And I don’t think I’ve ever thought about the word integrity or what it really meant. I was… I, I would kind of let myself go a lot to give myself a lot of excuses. And so then we did a lot of work around integrity and how that can help. Keep you committed, keep you aligned and keep you true to yourself. And then, you know, once those little breakthroughs and those walls start dropping, you can start seeing all the areas that you’re doing it and not just maybe the homework. At work I was doing that, or maybe dealing with some of my friends, or some of the things I was doing at home. And you could start seeing the pieces in every area of your life. And once you can start doing that, that’s where the real breakthrough comes in, because you’re like, I see it now. OK, now I can move past it. And so that’s kind of what we worked on.
Rebeccah [00:19:56] Yeah. So, basically, Anne and I worked together in… her really. You did all the work. But I just supported taking the career where you were so happy and passionate, being a wealth advisor, to a whole new level, where you went through what I believed to be the best and most challenging life coach certification in the world, through legacy training international, so you could take your gifts and your message to this whole new level. And, you know, I think what you’re saying is really, really important. That breakthrough happens faster and easier once you see that, how you show up anywhere is ultimately how you show up everywhere. It’s not about this little thing or even this big thing. It’s all the pattern being the pattern that’s keeping you limited and suffering if you’re limited in suffering. And if you’re limited in suffering, you’re in a pattern that you can break through.
Anne [00:20:54] Yeah. Yeah. And it was seeing the pieces and all the different areas of my life that really started to tie it together, because instead of not getting something done, because that person isn’t doing it the right way, or the rules that that person gave me isn’t right, I was able to say, wait, that’s my defense mechanism. I’m making it wrong; they’re not making it wrong. So, what do I need to do in this situation to get through it and to have the best outcome possible for me, regardless of what that person is doing? And so I could see that in all the little pieces of my life and that it just… it kind of took off. And then, you know, and now we’ve been able to pivot my career. So not just necessarily be a wealth adviser, but really moving to a wealth coach position, so that I can help individuals not only with the money and the plan, but the money mindset and really having some of those breakthroughs when it comes to talking about money, talking about investments, really removing the shame and the scariness for individuals, because I’ve been able to do that in other areas of my life. And so now we can help individuals do that when it comes to their money.
Rebeccah [00:22:11] What have you learned about breakdown being a prerequisite to breakthrough?
Anne [00:22:19] I don’t necessarily like breakdown at all, but it makes me… it was a different mindset, because I never put the fact that I’m breaking down so I can break through to something else. I always associated breakdowns with something’s wrong. Like I did something wrong, something was wrong. I need to fix it. And really, it’s just, you know, it’s the whole caterpillar to butterfly concept. It’s like you need to go through the breakdown, get all mushy and gross, and then you come out like a butterfly. And so now I see those breakdowns as… just as a way of me now being able to focus on that area like I’m having a breakdown here, what is that trying to tell me, what am I learning in this situation; versus I’m having a breakdown, I need to fix this. You know, just kind of spiraling down I now spiral up because I know this is for something better for me.
Rebeccah [00:23:24] Oh, my gosh. That’s so good. I used to spiral down and now I spiral up because I know there’s something better for me after the breakdown. What would you say about how strong people are? And how to remember that in the most challenging circumstances?
Anne [00:23:48] And what do you mean by how strong people are?
Rebeccah [00:23:51] Like, you know what, what we’re doing is we’re talking about, you know, when we connect to that tougher part of ourselves; the part of ourselves that’s tougher than the circumstance.
Anne [00:24:03] Yeah, and I think we forget that. Like, we lose… we forget the confidence we have on our ability to figure things out. And so a lot of times we are tougher than we think, and part of that is because we think we’re in a silo, but when we’re going through these breakdowns, we go within ourselves, we find, you know, the toughness that we need. But then we start seeing that if we start asking for the help or the support that we need… Now, I don’t have to be as tough as I think I need to be, because now I have resources who are here to help me as well. So, when you’re going through the breakdown, it’s important to communicate in those at that time, like, here’s what I’m going through, here’s what I really need from you family, from you coworkers. But having that open dialog during that breakdown—because you don’t want to break breakdown and then get stuck—and so by having that communication, you have others that are there to help you really go to that next level from there. So, I think when it comes to strength, a lot of times it isn’t, especially for me, the strength comes from asking for help, because I don’t do that. And so I need to learn that; when I’m in those breakdowns, reaching out, asking for help. That, for me is the inner strength I need in order to get through.
Rebeccah [00:25:33] Oh, I love that. What else do you want people to know about breakthrough?
Anne [00:25:41] I want them to know that… So, when I first started this journey, I was super scared of breakdown, like I did not want to look like I didn’t have my stuff together. Like, I was always that successful person and I could not be wrong. Like, I always had to be right; I could only do things where I look like I knew what I was doing or I was right. And that is not where the joy of life is. The joy of life is having these breakdowns and coming out the other end with more knowledge, more wisdom, more love, more support, because if you don’t go through the breakdown, you’re sitting in the unfulfilled… the cage life, you know, the life that really isn’t where you want to be. You need the ups and downs. But I was scared. I was terrified. I still am a little bit, if I have to be honest. It’s hard to go through that, but I’m starting to see how much that propels you forward, and how much more of a rich life you can have, because you’re experiencing other things than anger and joy. That’s all I ever did, was like I was really angry or I’d be happy. Like, that was the emotions I encompassed. I now can have frustration and elation and, you know, quiet. And so, as you’re doing this work and having the breakthroughs and the breakdowns, and really looking at what aligns for you, it just brings so much more of life, that you start enjoying the process versus looking for the end to be the satisfaction.
Rebeccah [00:27:24] Oh, that’s so good. And what do you want people to know about what it’s like to genuinely live fulfilled?
Anne [00:27:35] I think what I would like—and I don’t know how to say this quite the right way—but what I found by living a fulfilled life is, the things that we thought were important no longer become important, and you just have so much less stress in life. And, for example, if I’m dealing with somebody for money and they said they need to… I need to work until I have a million dollars. If they live a fulfilled life, that million dollars doesn’t matter anymore, because they’re finding joy walking out their front door. They’re finding joy talking to their grandparents. They’re appreciating every single moment and that’s what’s fulfilling them. And if they have the money, great. But they’ll probably use the money to help people in the community, to maybe share their wisdom, to help raise other individuals. And so that’s what fulfillment really does, is it takes the focus off of the things and really brings you to what’s important in life.
Rebeccah [00:28:41] Yeah. Thank you for being so vulnerable and so open and such an incredible leader in the world. What homework would you give to our listeners?
Anne [00:28:52] Oh, I love giving homework. I would say when it comes to homework… I really liked the homework that my very first coach gave me. Like, what is that one small thing you’ve always wanted to do? And no excuses. Go do it. What would it take? I think it’s like Tom Bilyeu says, what is your no BS way to get there? If you had no BS and you need to get there, what would it take? So just take one small thing that you’ve always wanted. Maybe it’s that you wanted to join a book club. For me, it was doing a 5K. What is something small you’ve always wanted to do for yourself and then just do it? Because what that does is provide confidence. It provides joy. And it starts getting you to then start making that next step and that next step. So that’s what I would give for homework; what is one small thing you’ve always wanted to do? And then, no matter what, find a way to do it.
Rebeccah [00:30:02] Final thoughts.
Anne [00:30:06] I think dealing with emotions is probably the most scariest thing for me. But I’ve also found it the most fulfilling. Like, understanding emotions, being open to express them really makes life so much more than kind of sitting in your own little shell. And so, do the hard things; really look at your emotions, because life is so much sweeter on the other side.
Rebeccah [00:30:38] How do people find you, Anne?
Anne [00:30:41] They can go to ellenbecker.com and they can see my profile there, or else they can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Rebeccah [00:30:53] Thank you so much for dropping the gold and helping us all expand into even more breakthrough. This is Rebeccah Silence with the Tougher Together, Breakthrough podcast.
Outro [00:31:12] Please note that the content of this podcast is not meant to be therapeutic or to replace any personal growth work that you are already doing with a coach, therapist, or mentor. Take the content, have it inspire you, and then keep working with your support system. Breakthrough is your right. Breakthrough reminds us that we’re tougher together and that we’re connected to possibility even in the most challenging and possibly darkest times. I’m Rebeccah Silence, creator of Healing is Possible and proud host of the Tougher Together, Breakthrough podcast where we come together and we tell stories of real breakthrough that exist for you as well. Get ready to break through, get ready to live more free, and get ready to experience more breakthrough. Because that’s your right. Join us on the Life’s Tough Media website and stay tuned for more. If you want to get in touch with me visit rebeccahsilence.com. Your time is now. Your breakthrough begins now.